Sitting in silence this morning I had to start journaling to get answers to my questions.

I have a tremendous drive that propels me forward, to remember and discover me. I have this urge to get to know the true me, this urge to grasp the ungraspable, the unknown, to ascend to higher frequencies of unconditional love.

So we are not our ego, and we are not our personalities. Our personalities is just a sum of our previous experiences. I believe the Toltec Indians use the metaphor of particles – which represent the experiences, or you can say these particles are memories, or consciousness, that are glued together as long as we are alive. Our life force is the glue that holds them together. I also know that we are not our personalities, that we can change them. So who are we, really? We are not our memories. We are not our limiting beliefs – which I call ego. Then – what is left? Who is the one driving you to control your ego, to control and rewrite your beliefs? Your higher self? Your soul? Who is that?

The universe is consciousness, it is a constant flow of energy, in constant change, change is the only constant. Negative emotions are not to be erased, but are to be transformed. Particles that you, or your experience, or your trip in this lifetime, consists of, is a part of the Universe that is in constant change. When we die in this body, the particles fly in different directions or transform into something else, just like when an animal dies, a life of a lot of maggots and mushrooms takes over, it is a new life, or it is the same in a different form. As above, so below. In that case, it is all one and I don’t have a soul since I am a part of the Universal soul.

So let’s have a trip of our lives. Who do you want to be in this lifetime?

I am the Love Magician.

I have succeeded in mastering my emotions this week. Previous weeks it has been a lot of anger that threw me off balance, because I have not been allowed to feel anger, so all was good until I got tired of been thrown back and forth every now and then. After all, an Ascended Master is balanced in his/her emotions and energy so I looked into that further.

I can track myself back where a limiting belief and then a strong emotion comes from but last week was when it gradually happened, I can’t say ‘by itself’ but now I see how I by being an observer of my emotions, and not attaching to them as much as before, I could feel that my emotions come and go, just as the moon is new or the moon is full. And so it doesn’t really matter.

I am also much more in tune with my own rhythm with energy tides, just like the moon. So last week’s energy I channeled into something very productive business wise. I took all anger, hurt feelings and sadness and focused them on my target and the negative feelings were transformed into higher vibrational results. Look into the Universal law of vibration, I would suggest for you who are not familiar with it. And this week I reap my results. I have created a big momentum by channeling all that energy and that has spiraled up and is giving me energy this week. My goals are manifesting. And now I can say..’it was actually not that difficult’.. though I know it was then, but here and now it feels like the easiest thing in the world.

I am the Love Magician.

And after the veil of illusion has been lifted I totally went into the darkness of the old blueprint. I took a moment yesterday backtracking myself and asking ‘what the hell happenned?’ I drank a bottle of Chablis, I ate 3 dounts and bake a cake…what the f***k!!! Sugar is the worst drug I have experienced I must say, it keeps you awake and out of yourself, disconnected and off. So I started praying for help, clappng my hands and taking my power back sobering myself up. And then I saw it: I have been a b*tch to my emotions, the ego f****ng around with me as it pleased, more than ever.

You see, I usually don’t drink often and I don’t eat sugar almost ever…so this was unlike me. I started looking at the past weeks. I have been very angry, I have been boiling inside of all the wrongs I have been letting myself put up with, not standing up for myself I now was angry with everything and everyone who even hinted of being unfair to me, I would annihilate them with my dragon flame!
So exhausting…When I look back I see that I havent been angry in my life and I havent allowed myself to be it so it was healthy, you know the Universal law of pendulum..from victim to perpetrator. And it was good and now Ive had enough of that too. Such a waste of energy.

The latest chapter of Og is very helpful. I will be master of my emotions. Yes. After yesterday’s ‘event’ I have made my decision. You see – I have let the ego, the fears, or the old blueprint, call it whatever you like, rule my life until now. I have known it recently but it hadn’t sink in in this amount. I_will_not_let_it_control_me_anymore. I am the ruler of my life, I am master of my emotions. I have taken my power back and old blueprint can go and f**k itself. This is my decision.

I will now live a life beyond fear, beyond the old blueprint and discover what is on the other side. And I know what is – it is what is written in my previous blog post.
I will live my biggest adventure of discovering who I truly am, living my life fully with experiences that take my breath away.

And so be it.

Anna

I have experienced something astonishing. I did a meditation where I pictured myself clearing my chakras and I stayed in each and one of them feeling the vibe of it. I felt the strength of the red base chakra, the pleasure of the sacral, and it was a different pleasure, it was not a yearning of need or lack, but a steady flame of aaaah!, not needing and asking for it from the outside, but rather the pleasure was coming from within. It was wow, in a steady way, always present, always there. I felt the yellow colour of integrity in the navel chakra, the green love in the heart chakra and the FREEDOM in me when I felt into my throat chakra. Then I came to the 3rd eye and there I stayed a bit longer. I was standing on a hill watching the sea and hills below me in the darkness, lighted by the pale light of the moon and I felt ONENESS. I just knew. I was not lonely, this was the opposite of loneliness, this was oneness, this was TRUST, I just KNEW.
And then I felt the peace of the purple universal chakra.

I have never felt this before, well that is not true actually……I have felt this before, I have just haven’t put them together in one body at the same time. This is one of the coolest experiences in my life and I don’t want to waste a moment longer of not being there. I will do all I can to be there as much as possible now when I have seen it. The veil of illusion has been lifted once more in front of my eyes and I am forever grateful of it.

Thank you thank you thank you.

Anna

I absolutely love Haanels exersise:

‘For your exersise this week, go into the Silence and concentrate on the fact that ‘In him (I doubt God is either a he or a she though! 🙂 ) we live and move and have our being’ is literally and scientifically exact! That you ARE because He IS, that if He is Omnipresent, He must be in you. That if He is all in all you must be in Him! That He is Spirit and you are made in ‘His image and likeness’ and that the only difference between His spirit and your spirit is one of degree, that a part must be the same in kind and quality as the whole. When you can realize this clearly you will have found the secret of the creative power of thought, you will have found the origin of both good and evil, you will have found the secret of the wonderful power of concentration, you will have found the key to the solution of every problem whether physical, financial, or environmental.’
– Haanel, Lesson 20, Master Key Experience


I am thinking about what Davene said that we live the life we chose and ofcourse, that is absolutely true. It makes me more alert on what choices I will make and I have a lot of choice making this year I feel. I simply cannot go with the comfort zone. I have to go where excitement is, and after all – it is the same feeling as fear, as excitement and fear are the same feeling, they are just different sides of the same coin.

Just let it sink in a for a while.
Really sink in.

And now ask yourself a question – what is the meaning of your life? Is it getting a solid bank account? Or is it living a life where each moment is taking your breath away? I guess I needed that reminder…
I am currently reading a book about our ascension process on Earth during these times and according to them there are many beings in the Universe who lack what we have. They might be more advanced, but do you know what is so special with planet Earth? It is that here – we are able to FEEL. Think of it, self directed thinkers – you know how to rule your thoughts and therefore your feelings, so you can create ANY feeling you want and the more positive you get the more of the good stuff you feel. Think of it! You can create your own yummie paradise right here on this planet Earth!
And now go back to the exersise in the beginning of this post.

You are just one thought away from paradise.

Unconditional Love,
Anna

The week of a hero’s journey was about going deeper in understanding and accumulating the knowledge and feeling of being a self-directed thinker. You can either envision it in areas of your life where you want to achieve more success, for instace career wise, which I did the first year of MKE. It was more direct about achieving things I needed and wanted and was entitled to. This time it is on a deeper level by BECOMING that which I wish to achieve.

The reason for Press release is the same – you align your vibe with what you wish mor eof in your life. For instance I see myself living in that house, working as a shaman, writing that book…and instead of doing a visualization technique and seeing myself having it, I go the opposite way and ask myself ‘How is that woman having it?’ and then I feel into her. I align myself with her and I see what feeling inside of me I need to anchor so it becomes my life, so that I become her.

Being a self-directed thinker is also about growing up in every aspect of that meaning. Growing a muscle of being in my core and not letting people and outer circumstances get me out of my core. I am going through a situation in my life which is quite challenging emotionally for me and I have chosen to see it as an opportunity to practice how quickly I can bounce back to my core, my true self and my happy me. Earlier I needed outside help but the latest weeks I see more and more of the fighter in me even in this area of life. Controlling my thoughts and controlling my emotions. By doing that, I have also REALLY started listening much more to my inner voice and not asking anyone else’s opinion, before I make my own. First it was uncomfortable but then it became liberating on a deeper level. I take my own choices and I set my boundaries that make ME feel good and that feel TRUE to ME. That was also very uncomfortable, but I pushed through and I stand in my truth.

I feel more solid, empowered. Steady wins the race. Though being without instant gratification I am gaining so much more – ME.

Lots of love,
Anna

Continuing frm week 16 I went on diving in to myself, instead of diving into my desires and asking for them I started feeling – adjusting my vibe to the vibe of the things I want and magical things started happening.

‘When I choose me – the Universe chooses me too!’

I asked myself: how do I love myself? And one of the answers was – showing up for myself, having fun with myself. And I asked myself:
‘What makes me feel truly alive?’ and – driving a car fast, shooting, surfing, dancing, riding a horse, painting and writing were some things among my answer. And how many was I doing recently? Not many….so….that’s when all the magic happenned!!
Apparently there was a try out week at a pole dance studio where my colleague tried to get me for a year! And so this week I have taken classes in:
– Feminine vibe
– Dancehall/twerk
– Pole
– Flex
My body aches so much so I can barely move but WOOOOW the high, the joy!!! I have really shifted, I am not the same person. I have also gotten a mentor in my career. Things definately started moving. In a couple of days!
And so the next thought comes: if I can do this in a couple of days….yes, I have been afraid of my own power…who can keep up with me?

All the best,
Anna