Week 24 – I Love Money

Today I would like to speak about money and the discoveries I have discovered with what has been blocking me.

According to Brendon Buchard – #1 New York Times best-selling author and “the world’s leading high performance coach”, the 6 traits of high performers are following:
– Clarity
– Energy
– Necessity
– Productivity
– Influence
– Courage
Check him out at https://brendon.com/

I have always been very driven, high performer with a lot of energy and sunny radiance. When I worked as a sales executive and it was the last day of the month and I had to find and close that extra sale THE SAME day to close my books on 120% I always did it. I was actually one of the best sales people in our company. Well, we all were pretty great, since the ones that weren’t didn’t stay for long. So what happened?

Making long story short I joined the spiritual (you can discuss the truth of that though) community, being totally fed up with working in corporate and a lot of things happened during those years. One of those were that I lost almost all my money during those years, together with my self esteem and a sense of who I was. I followed gurus who turned out to be the biggest frauds ever. Now I see that that journey has taught me to believe in myself and listen to my own truth. And also remember my gold. I have always been successful, I am so driven that I can make gold out of nothing and sell snow to the Eskimos. And listen to my own truth, like really do that, because I am a very intelligent person and if it doesn’t smell right, then it probably isn’t right either. And so it is for you too, because deep down inside you are golden too.
So one of the so called guru brainwashes was money. You see I was told and believed that money was something unconscious people had, money was evil and so on. I mean HELLO!!

I have been sitting all morning journalling about this and going deep. I remembered my hunger for achieving. There_s_nothing_wrong_with_money. In fact the abundance channel comes from the same channel as divine love. ABUNDANCE, GENEROSITY, DIVINE LOVE, MONEY, it is ALL THE SAME CHANNEL!
Think of being a truly loving person, giving, caring, being very generous. You know all the law of give more get more, law of abundance, law of giving and receiving. Imagine, being a very loving person, how much GOOD that you can do with money, following your purpose, manifesting your dreams, helping others. It is gold! Abundance, flow! YES!! Love!

There is nothing wrong with success! I have been told that I am ‘too driven’ and ‘too masculine’! That I should chill more. Such bullshit. I am light, sun and radiance! You can’t dim my light. No one can, some tried, but no one has ever succeeded and no one ever will. Because I always win.
Many in the spiritual community are talking about sitting still, visualizing, making vision boards and attracting the abundance to them – by being in their feminine. All the talk about receiving…which is great! But we must not forget the masculine, the part that actually acts, goes for it, is driven and get their ass out of the wagon and succeeds!
You see, it is all about balance. In you.
Interesting, because the new painting I am working on is exactly about that topic. It is all coming together so nicely.

Big thanks to Ariella Indigo who hosted ‘Conjure your Millionnaire Money Code’ webinar. She unites corporate and spiritual, male and female, explains the money consciosness and what you need in order to attract abundance in your life. Check her out at https://www.ariellaindigo.com/

I love money, I love abundance, I love my drive, I love my passion, I love my sun and I love all the abundance and light in me, and which comes through me! I LOVE MONEY!

Let’s raise together our money consciousness on the planet! Let us be rich in every aspect of that word!

Much much love,


Week 23 – Who Am I?

Sitting in silence this morning I had to start journaling to get answers to my questions.

I have a tremendous drive that propels me forward, to remember and discover me. I have this urge to get to know the true me, this urge to grasp the ungraspable, the unknown, to ascend to higher frequencies of unconditional love.

So we are not our ego, and we are not our personalities. Our personalities is just a sum of our previous experiences. I believe the Toltec Indians use the metaphor of particles – which represent the experiences, or you can say these particles are memories, or consciousness, that are glued together as long as we are alive. Our life force is the glue that holds them together. I also know that we are not our personalities, that we can change them. So who are we, really? We are not our memories. We are not our limiting beliefs – which I call ego. Then – what is left? Who is the one driving you to control your ego, to control and rewrite your beliefs? Your higher self? Your soul? Who is that?

The universe is consciousness, it is a constant flow of energy, in constant change, change is the only constant. Negative emotions are not to be erased, but are to be transformed. Particles that you, or your experience, or your trip in this lifetime, consists of, is a part of the Universe that is in constant change. When we die in this body, the particles fly in different directions or transform into something else, just like when an animal dies, a life of a lot of maggots and mushrooms takes over, it is a new life, or it is the same in a different form. As above, so below. In that case, it is all one and I don’t have a soul since I am a part of the Universal soul.

So let’s have a trip of our lives. Who do you want to be in this lifetime?

I am the Love Magician.

Week 22A – Using My Toolbox

I have succeeded in mastering my emotions this week. Previous weeks it has been a lot of anger that threw me off balance, because I have not been allowed to feel anger, so all was good until I got tired of been thrown back and forth every now and then. After all, an Ascended Master is balanced in his/her emotions and energy so I looked into that further.

I can track myself back where a limiting belief and then a strong emotion comes from but last week was when it gradually happened, I can’t say ‘by itself’ but now I see how I by being an observer of my emotions, and not attaching to them as much as before, I could feel that my emotions come and go, just as the moon is new or the moon is full. And so it doesn’t really matter.

I am also much more in tune with my own rhythm with energy tides, just like the moon. So last week’s energy I channeled into something very productive business wise. I took all anger, hurt feelings and sadness and focused them on my target and the negative feelings were transformed into higher vibrational results. Look into the Universal law of vibration, I would suggest for you who are not familiar with it. And this week I reap my results. I have created a big momentum by channeling all that energy and that has spiraled up and is giving me energy this week. My goals are manifesting. And now I can say..’it was actually not that difficult’.. though I know it was then, but here and now it feels like the easiest thing in the world.

I am the Love Magician.

Week 22 – My Decision

And after the veil of illusion has been lifted I totally went into the darkness of the old blueprint. I took a moment yesterday backtracking myself and asking ‘what the hell happenned?’ I drank a bottle of Chablis, I ate 3 dounts and bake a cake…what the f***k!!! Sugar is the worst drug I have experienced I must say, it keeps you awake and out of yourself, disconnected and off. So I started praying for help, clappng my hands and taking my power back sobering myself up. And then I saw it: I have been a b*tch to my emotions, the ego f****ng around with me as it pleased, more than ever.

You see, I usually don’t drink often and I don’t eat sugar almost ever…so this was unlike me. I started looking at the past weeks. I have been very angry, I have been boiling inside of all the wrongs I have been letting myself put up with, not standing up for myself I now was angry with everything and everyone who even hinted of being unfair to me, I would annihilate them with my dragon flame!
So exhausting…When I look back I see that I havent been angry in my life and I havent allowed myself to be it so it was healthy, you know the Universal law of pendulum..from victim to perpetrator. And it was good and now Ive had enough of that too. Such a waste of energy.

The latest chapter of Og is very helpful. I will be master of my emotions. Yes. After yesterday’s ‘event’ I have made my decision. You see – I have let the ego, the fears, or the old blueprint, call it whatever you like, rule my life until now. I have known it recently but it hadn’t sink in in this amount. I_will_not_let_it_control_me_anymore. I am the ruler of my life, I am master of my emotions. I have taken my power back and old blueprint can go and f**k itself. This is my decision.

I will now live a life beyond fear, beyond the old blueprint and discover what is on the other side. And I know what is – it is what is written in my previous blog post.
I will live my biggest adventure of discovering who I truly am, living my life fully with experiences that take my breath away.

And so be it.


Week 21 – I am Limitless

I have experienced something astonishing. I did a meditation where I pictured myself clearing my chakras and I stayed in each and one of them feeling the vibe of it. I felt the strength of the red base chakra, the pleasure of the sacral, and it was a different pleasure, it was not a yearning of need or lack, but a steady flame of aaaah!, not needing and asking for it from the outside, but rather the pleasure was coming from within. It was wow, in a steady way, always present, always there. I felt the yellow colour of integrity in the navel chakra, the green love in the heart chakra and the FREEDOM in me when I felt into my throat chakra. Then I came to the 3rd eye and there I stayed a bit longer. I was standing on a hill watching the sea and hills below me in the darkness, lighted by the pale light of the moon and I felt ONENESS. I just knew. I was not lonely, this was the opposite of loneliness, this was oneness, this was TRUST, I just KNEW.
And then I felt the peace of the purple universal chakra.

I have never felt this before, well that is not true actually……I have felt this before, I have just haven’t put them together in one body at the same time. This is one of the coolest experiences in my life and I don’t want to waste a moment longer of not being there. I will do all I can to be there as much as possible now when I have seen it. The veil of illusion has been lifted once more in front of my eyes and I am forever grateful of it.

Thank you thank you thank you.


Week 20 – You are Just One Thought Away from Paradise

I absolutely love Haanels exersise:

‘For your exersise this week, go into the Silence and concentrate on the fact that ‘In him (I doubt God is either a he or a she though! 🙂 ) we live and move and have our being’ is literally and scientifically exact! That you ARE because He IS, that if He is Omnipresent, He must be in you. That if He is all in all you must be in Him! That He is Spirit and you are made in ‘His image and likeness’ and that the only difference between His spirit and your spirit is one of degree, that a part must be the same in kind and quality as the whole. When you can realize this clearly you will have found the secret of the creative power of thought, you will have found the origin of both good and evil, you will have found the secret of the wonderful power of concentration, you will have found the key to the solution of every problem whether physical, financial, or environmental.’
– Haanel, Lesson 20, Master Key Experience

I am thinking about what Davene said that we live the life we chose and ofcourse, that is absolutely true. It makes me more alert on what choices I will make and I have a lot of choice making this year I feel. I simply cannot go with the comfort zone. I have to go where excitement is, and after all – it is the same feeling as fear, as excitement and fear are the same feeling, they are just different sides of the same coin.

Just let it sink in a for a while.
Really sink in.

And now ask yourself a question – what is the meaning of your life? Is it getting a solid bank account? Or is it living a life where each moment is taking your breath away? I guess I needed that reminder…
I am currently reading a book about our ascension process on Earth during these times and according to them there are many beings in the Universe who lack what we have. They might be more advanced, but do you know what is so special with planet Earth? It is that here – we are able to FEEL. Think of it, self directed thinkers – you know how to rule your thoughts and therefore your feelings, so you can create ANY feeling you want and the more positive you get the more of the good stuff you feel. Think of it! You can create your own yummie paradise right here on this planet Earth!
And now go back to the exersise in the beginning of this post.

You are just one thought away from paradise.

Unconditional Love,

Week 19 – Opportunities

I am feeling that my life is improving in so many ways! Wow and the coolest and most awesome part is that it is me who has created it – I am a true magician! That is soooo cool!
I am very proud of myself and all the work I am doing with myself and seeing the fruits of my labor is very rewarding.

I feel that it is busy times for me this month, a lot of new starts and opportunities in different areas. And though they haven’t yet manifested in the physical form yet I feel that they are about to sprout.
‘And a new life will sprout within me’
– The Greatest Salesman in the World, Og Mandino, Scroll I

I feel this year I am working on myself on a deeper level, but rooting myself into new reality and new beliefs and really feeling more of the magician and creator power within me. I have started dancing, I am painting again!! I have a new ritual of waking up earlier, lighting candles and making coffee and breakfast in bed to myself and writing in my journal. Things that I am grateful for, things I have been thinking about and my plans and how I wish to take of myself today. It is very loving, cozy and warming starting my day in that manner. Then I am ready whatever it is at work, and actually my work has improved. Everything goes smoothly lately 🙂 I am enjoying my now instead of running forward. I am feeling more and more of my power and I am enjoying the now, while creating my future.

I love my dancing classes, it is such a great dancing studio with so many great women. The interior is pink with disco balls and there are amazing women laughing, dancing pole, burlesque, dancehall and twerk and many other dance styles. The energy is so positive and bubbly and it feels like a shot of happiness going there each time! I am feeling creative again and I am more receptive and open spiritually and more sure of my intuition and of what my guides are telling me. I am enjoying my meditations before going to bed. I am enjoying life being me and being with me. Putting myself first and enjoying my own company.

Ofcourse I have a lot to improve and work on still, but I guess I would also like to encourage everyone who reads this to boast how good you are because there is nothing wrong with that. We can be good and even great together! Lifting each other up into positivity!

Be happy and be proud of yourselves!
Think of 5 things that you are proud of with yourself today.
I am proud of my beautiful pink nails and that I painted them yesterday, I am proud of me being a great project manager and leader, getting things done, seeing the whole picture, being empathetic and totally awesome!
I am proud of me having such a cozy home. I am proud of myself having a strong, healthy and athletic body. I am proud of myself being so hungry for knowledge!! And I am proud of myself for being able to feel joy!
And I am proud of my clever, cute and amazingly adorable cat Vasja and I love him very much!
Be proud, peeps!

Week 18 – Going Within

This week has been an interesting week. From starting as a challenge – it became, or should I say I made it to an opportunity to transmute it to my greatest gift.

What I did was when I was craving love from the outside the most – I actually did, on a deep level – I changed my way of thinking and acting. I changed my old deep pattern IN ACTION and started think and slowly act differently. I got aware of the pattern and that I – or my peptides – were craving the fix. I have seen it many times but this time I was able to change the behavior. I had made a decision that no more, I will not take this sh*t no more, I am changing my life on a deep level and putting new highways for my peptides, autobahns to heaven I will call them! So instead of being sad and wanting someone to comfort me I started doing it myself, really doing it. I talked to myself, wrote in my diary, and was comforting me the way I would want someone else to do it to me. And it worked! I got so cozy, I drank tea, wrote in my journal, watched the snow fall outside my window. I sat and meditated and visualized my new future and I felt the new future me closer and closer, I was her, I am her.

It all starts with a decision. You can talk about how much you understand something, you can try doing something, taking action and ‘trying’. But if you haven’t truly made a decision to succeed no matter what it won’t work. You can’t say ‘I’ll try’. you have to say ‘I WILL SUCCEED NO MATTER WHAT’. I am quite good at succeeding in many areas of my life but my emotional life has been the most difficult part having anxiety over past traumatic events in my life I have been handling it. Now I am happy to say I am succeeding with cutting it out from the root. Wow, I am actually really proud of myself for doing the work, for digging out the weeds in order for my roots to grow thick, strong and long.

I have the last couple of years, especially last year felt that I don’t have time for bullshit, working on myself, turning every stone within me to becoming my true me. Because I know, I have seen the wonder, the unconditional love, the ecstasy, the magic and I don’t want to waste a moment living in old peptide addictions. I will live this day as if it is my last and with this I will improve myself as much as I can.

What happened when I went inside and nurtured myself? Spirit started playing with me and I got inspired – and started a new painting! It is in the working for the moment and it is a totally new motive – I have painted women or goddesses during the latest year and now something new is bursting to come and surface.

And though it is -13 C outside I have a bubbly feeling of spring and as if something big and amazing is about to happen.


Week 17 HJ

The week of a hero’s journey was about going deeper in understanding and accumulating the knowledge and feeling of being a self-directed thinker. You can either envision it in areas of your life where you want to achieve more success, for instace career wise, which I did the first year of MKE. It was more direct about achieving things I needed and wanted and was entitled to. This time it is on a deeper level by BECOMING that which I wish to achieve.

The reason for Press release is the same – you align your vibe with what you wish mor eof in your life. For instance I see myself living in that house, working as a shaman, writing that book…and instead of doing a visualization technique and seeing myself having it, I go the opposite way and ask myself ‘How is that woman having it?’ and then I feel into her. I align myself with her and I see what feeling inside of me I need to anchor so it becomes my life, so that I become her.

Being a self-directed thinker is also about growing up in every aspect of that meaning. Growing a muscle of being in my core and not letting people and outer circumstances get me out of my core. I am going through a situation in my life which is quite challenging emotionally for me and I have chosen to see it as an opportunity to practice how quickly I can bounce back to my core, my true self and my happy me. Earlier I needed outside help but the latest weeks I see more and more of the fighter in me even in this area of life. Controlling my thoughts and controlling my emotions. By doing that, I have also REALLY started listening much more to my inner voice and not asking anyone else’s opinion, before I make my own. First it was uncomfortable but then it became liberating on a deeper level. I take my own choices and I set my boundaries that make ME feel good and that feel TRUE to ME. That was also very uncomfortable, but I pushed through and I stand in my truth.

I feel more solid, empowered. Steady wins the race. Though being without instant gratification I am gaining so much more – ME.

Lots of love,

Week 17 – My Authentic Self

Continuing frm week 16 I went on diving in to myself, instead of diving into my desires and asking for them I started feeling – adjusting my vibe to the vibe of the things I want and magical things started happening.

‘When I choose me – the Universe chooses me too!’

I asked myself: how do I love myself? And one of the answers was – showing up for myself, having fun with myself. And I asked myself:
‘What makes me feel truly alive?’ and – driving a car fast, shooting, surfing, dancing, riding a horse, painting and writing were some things among my answer. And how many was I doing recently? Not many….so….that’s when all the magic happenned!!
Apparently there was a try out week at a pole dance studio where my colleague tried to get me for a year! And so this week I have taken classes in:
– Feminine vibe
– Dancehall/twerk
– Pole
– Flex
My body aches so much so I can barely move but WOOOOW the high, the joy!!! I have really shifted, I am not the same person. I have also gotten a mentor in my career. Things definately started moving. In a couple of days!
And so the next thought comes: if I can do this in a couple of days….yes, I have been afraid of my own power…who can keep up with me?

All the best,